Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(Source: transascendant)

51,950 notes

Seeing what tricks my new pet knows during my first session

outofcontextdnd:

Me: Roll over.

GM: The hedgehog rolls over. It’s adorable.

Me: Stay.

GM: You take a few steps away. The hedgehog remains where it is.

Me: Heel.

GM: The hedgehog heals you for 5 HP.

Me: Holy shit.

16,513 notes

shiromiracles replied to your post:I Think one of the girls messaging me is asking…

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

I AM

IT’S WEIRD

1 note

miljathefailcat:

"Luckily I have an ace up my sleeve!" I smirk and roll my sleeve up. A confused asexual rolls out, blinking in the sudden light.

44,017 notes

I

Think one of the girls messaging me is asking me on a date

I

I

What

2 notes

A Short Halloween PSA

tearlessrain:

Hey the thing I reblogged earlier reminded me to mention this:

I can promise all my followers that I do not post or reblog jump scares, ever, because A) I don’t like them and they suck, and B) I know at least a few of my followers have anxiety in one form or another and I’m not going to be that jerk.

So yes. There will be no jump scares from this blog, just wanted to ease your minds preemptively.

30,016 notes